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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28502943">Love is not possible for everybody.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur'>herilaveur</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SKAM (France)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:13:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,846</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28502943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucas was diagnosed with schizophrenia, like his mother, two years ago. Since then, he has promised himself he would never have a serious relationship and has been chasing guys on Grindr.<br/>Until he meets Eliott, who has the same philosophy of life as he does: having fun but never having a serious relationship.<br/>Together, there's no ambiguity, no feelings of love. It's just two friends having sex.</p><p>Until Lucas realizes that he is lying to himself: He is in love with Eliott. And the only way not to hurt him is to stop seeing him. </p><p>Will Eliott let Lucas out of his life so easily?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>155</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Revelation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've never yet written a story where Eliott and Lucas are sex-friends...it's done...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Lucas sighs as he watches his phone ring. He lets the voicemail do its work and looks at the ceiling, not coming back from not realizing he was slipping.</p><p>All of this because of a simple kiss on his shoulder ...</p><p>It may sound silly, but that's when Lucas realized they weren't just booty calls.</p><p>At least that's when he understood that he didn't want to be just Eliott's booty call anymore and that's when it all got complicated. Because Lucas swore to himself for years that he wouldn't have a serious relationship. His friends say he's a total idiot and that he shouldn't give up something he's never known, but Lucas can't commit to a relationship. </p><p>He's 19 years old, he has to manage his studies, a job in a café and take care of his sick mother and his own illness. He was diagnosed at 17. His mother had schizophrenia, so he knew he was at risk of schizophrenia too. 7%...but of course because his life is shit, he won the jackpot.</p><p>With his medication, he's fine, but since he knows he's sick, he's decided to never get into a serious relationship. He will never be able to force this on anyone. </p><p>So, for the past year, he has been meeting guys on Grindr to fuck. To fuck them, more precisely. It's simple, fast and generally pleasant. He never sees the same guy twice in a row and usually leaves as soon as possible, without even saying his real name. </p><p>But that was before. Before March 15, the day he received the first notification. </p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>Nice profile. <br/>Are you doing anything tonight?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>No.<br/>Do you want to meet?</p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>Yeah. <br/>Your place or mine?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>First time on Grindr?</p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>Maybe.<br/>How do you know that?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Most guys ask more questions.</p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>Okay. <br/>Sorry. <br/>I thought I'd ask you a few questions over drinks.<br/>So? You're 21, I guess? Are you a student?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Okay...this is definitely new for you. <br/>I think you'd better quit the app, it doesn't look like it's for you.</p><p><br/><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>Why?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>You seem too nice for that.</p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>I'm not nice, I'm civilized.<br/>You'll soon see that I'm not a nice guy, but I have the right to talk to you before I fuck you, right?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Exactly, if you had asked, you would know that I'm top, exclusively. </p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>Okay. Fine by me.<br/>Are you coming to my house?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>I'm not looking for anything serious.</p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>That's good, me neither.<br/>Exclusive booty call.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Okay.<br/>I don't do virgins.<br/>They deserve better than a guy on Grindr.</p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>No problem for that.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>What size are you?</p><p><strong>Otelli</strong> </p><p>If you're top, why do you care about the size of my dick?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>I was talking about your size. I like tall guys.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli.</strong>
</p><p>I'll send you my address, you'll see for yourself.<br/>Small complex or are you really tall too?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Fuck you.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli</strong>
</p><p>I'm waiting for you for that.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>I'm on my way. You'll see that I don't need to be taller than you to fuck you properly.<br/>By the way, 21 is not my age.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli</strong>
</p><p>Come and show me this then.</p><p>
  <em>Otelli changed his nickname to Otelli23</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Ventard!</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Come and check it out.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>I'm on my way.</p><p><br/>Lucas still remembers how Eliott looked at him from head to toe that night, when he opened the door for him, before taking a huge smile, then how they literally jumped on each other before fucking all night long.</p><p>Lucas sighs in retrospect. That was 7 months ago, and since then he hasn't seen a single other guy on Grindr. He hasn't opened the app once since he got Eliott's direct number. Why meet another guy when he can get Eliott? <br/>Eliott, who is a cut like a Greek god, who is nice and tender but who teases him all the time. Eliott, who doesn't want a serious relationship.</p><p>Sometimes he doesn't give any news for several days, even weeks, but Lucas doesn't care. It helps him remember that they are not in a relationship. They're just there for each other when they need sex. </p><p>And then when Lucas isn't feeling well, he doesn't check in for several days either, and Eliott never asks him for anything. </p><p>It's simple, easy and really nice.</p><p>At least it was until now because now Lucas has to stop it. Yesterday Eliott kissed him on the back of the shoulder as he entered him. After several months of absolutely great sex, Lucas felt confident enough to tell Eliott that he wasn't top exclusive. Eliott didn't say anything, he just smiled before he kissed him, as if he understood that Lucas needed to be confident enough to let another guy be the top. </p><p>He should have known at that moment that he was starting to slip. Eliott had already taken up too much space in his life. And when Eliott kissed him on the shoulder yesterday, it made Lucas feel fucking happy and his heart started beating faster. And that's when he realized that he was in love with Eliott. He spent weeks convincing himself that they've become sex-friends and that it's great that they can go out to a movie or a concert and then go back to each other's houses and spend the night together. That it's great to be able to spend the night talking after having sex and before doing it again. How great it is not to have to leave in the middle of the night and to be able to sleep with Eliott knowing that he doesn't want a relationship either. </p><p>But the truth is that they look too much like a couple now, and frankly Lucas doesn't even know when they went from a booty call to almost a couple.</p><p>His phone rings, and he knows it's Eliott because it has a special ring tone for him. </p><p>He watches his phone ring but doesn't pick it up. </p><p>He has to stop it before he hurts or makes Eliott suffer. Either way, all Eliott wants is sex. He will find someone else for that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Declaration</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eliott looks at his phone and frowns. Lucas left in a hurry this morning, and he was really weird last night. Eliott asked him several times if he had hurt him because frankly it looked like he had, but Lucas swore to him that he hadn't, and this morning when he woke up, Lucas was gone.</p><p>Eliott shouldn't worry so much about Lucas because they're not together, but he can't help it. He sighs as he puts his phone down. He wasn't supposed to get into a serious relationship. He doesn't want a real relationship, and what he has with Lucas really suits him. </p><p>What they have doesn't really have a name. They were booty calls, and then they became friends. Eliott still remembers how hard it was to convince Lucas to see him a second time.</p><p>
  <em>7 months earlier - March 16</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>You didn't have to leave so quickly.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>I was working at 8 o'clock.<br/>
Normally you should be relieved that I left quickly. <br/>
Guys who stay are the worst. </p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>I could have bought you a coffee.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Still as civilized as ever. <br/>
You gave me a great night, that was enough.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Are you doing anything tonight?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>I'm not looking for a relationship.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Me neither.<br/>
But dare to tell me you're having such a good night with any other guy.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>I never see a guy twice. <br/>
Sorry.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Your rule is void.<br/>
There are still a lot of things I wanted to do to you that I didn't have time to do last night.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Like?</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Come at 8pm to find out.</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>No, sorry. <br/>
I don't do that.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Okay...so you have predefined rules?<br/>
What are they?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>-never see a guy twice.<br/>
-leave as soon as possible.<br/>
-never give my first name.</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>So your name is not Lucas?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Yes...</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Why did you give me your real name then?</p><p>
  <strong>Rioppy21</strong>
</p><p>Because you asked. <br/>
Other guys don't ask like you. <br/>
I got the impression that you really wanted to know</p><p>
  <strong>Otelli23</strong>
</p><p>Ok Lucas, so I'll wait for you tonight at 8pm.<br/>
I'm not looking for a serious relationship, but we can be friends who have sex together, right?</p><p> </p><p>Friends who refuse to be in a serious relationship, that's what they were. When Lucas arrived that night, he spent 10 minutes explaining that he didn't want a serious relationship and that it would never change. And that was a good thing, because Eliott had promised himself that he would never get involved in a serious relationship again because of his illness. </p><p>He saw Lucile being totally broken by this bullshit. He saw her getting sick because of him and the worst part is that at that point he didn't care. When he was at his worst, he did everything he could to hurt her and he managed to destroy her. She went away and told him that she loved him but she couldn't stand it anymore. And Eliott can only agree with her: no one should have to endure this. </p><p>Sometimes Eliott looks at Lucas when he sleeps and wonders why he refuses to be in a serious relationship. Does he also have a big secret deep inside him? Sometimes Eliott imagines himself explaining to Lucas why he sometimes disappears for several days, and why he can never be in a relationship, then he remembers that Lucas disappears sometimes too, and that he doesn't want to be in a relationship anyway, while he probably isn't interested in knowing that Eliott is bipolar. </p><p>Eliott sighs and looks at his phone before throwing it on his bed. He gets up, gets dressed and goes out. Outside it's raining and it's already dark but he doesn't care. He walks to Lucas' house. He's never done this, he's never gone to Lucas without asking him first, but tonight he needs him. He knows that it's not at all what they promised each other, but his need takes precedence over reason. </p><p>The door of the building doesn't close properly anymore so Eliott goes straight up to the second floor. He smiles when the door opens but loses his smile as soon as he sees Lucas' face. He looks sad in a way that Eliott has never seen him before.</p><p>"Not tonight, Eliott. I'm not in the mood."</p><p>Lucas makes a movement to close the door but he looks so sad that Eliott rushes in to take him in his arms. Lucas is startled and tries to pull back but Eliott holds him firmly and suddenly, without warning, Lucas bursts into tears.</p><p>"Lu, please talk to me. What's going on?"</p><p>Eliott gently strokes his back, trying to help him calm down, but Lucas sniffs and pushes him away.</p><p>"You should leave. I can't do this anymore, Eliott."</p><p>Eliott shakes his head.</p><p>"I just want to know what's going on. What are you so upset about? Last night you were"</p><p>"We have to stop seeing each other." Said Lucas, pushing him away "I've fallen in love."</p><p>Eliott immediately steps back, sadness invading his whole body. It was obvious that Lucas would eventually meet a guy who could offer him everything he deserved and that he would eventually forget about his non-engagement principle. A guy like Lucas is totally cut out for a serious relationship. He deserves someone who wants to take care of him for the rest of his life. Someone who would meet his friends, his parents, who would pick him up after work with a bouquet of flowers, who would get him croissants just to make him smile. Someone who could move in with him, have plans, start a family. </p><p>"Eliott, please leave, it's hard enough as it is."</p><p>Eliott smiles and strokes Lucas' cheek.</p><p>"I knew this would happen one day. He's a lucky man. I hope you two will be happy."</p><p>Lucas looks at him with a totally inexpressive face before he sighs.</p><p>"It's you, damn it! I'm falling in love with you!"</p><p>Eliott takes a step back, widens his eyes. He doesn't know which is worse: that Lucas says it like it's something horrible, or that he imagines what it would be like to have a real relationship with Lucas. </p><p>His breathing quickens as he imagines what Lucas would experience if he were in a relationship with him. He can only too well imagine Lucas' worried face because he wouldn't be home all night, or worse, angry Lucas rolling his eyes as he walks into their room, dropping a "you've got one more fucking episode", just like Lucille did. Lucas picking him up at the police station, jaded at having to deal with the crap he does during his manic episodes. Lucas in tears telling him that he can't go on living like this.</p><p>''I can't be in a relationship, Lucas.''</p><p>Lucas pushes Eliott to the landing and stands against the door.</p><p>''That's where you don't understand, Eliott. I'm the one who can't be in a relationship. I'm sorry, I can't keep seeing you."</p><p>Lucas slams the door and Eliott stands there looking at the door, wondering when Lucas realized he was in love with him. How do you really know you're in love with someone? How can you tell the difference between friendship and love? Is it at the moment when we realize that we can't do without this person to be happy? Is it that the mere sight of this person is enough to make you smile even when you are not well? Is it when the thought of never seeing this person again overwhelms you with such great sadness that you feel like you are going to die? </p><p>Because if that's the case, Eliott has to open his eyes: he has fallen in love with Lucas. </p><p>He looks at the door, touches the handle and then realizes what he's doing. He can't do anything good for Lucas. Lucas may have a heart ache now, but it will be more bearable than the suffering he will endure with Eliott.</p><p>Eliott touches the door, and when he hears sniffing, he knows that Lucas is still right behind.</p><p>''I love you too, Lucas, but I can't be with you. I'm sorry. I swear to you that you will suffer less now than if you were going out with me.''</p><p>Eliott leaves the building as if it was on fire, promising never to return. He must think about Lucas and not be selfish. Lucas will end up meeting a guy who can bring him happiness.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Intervention</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>''Lucas? Did you take your medication?''</p><p>Lucas lifts his middle finger from under his comforter before turning around.</p><p>''Lucas, I just want to know if you''</p><p>"You're not my mother, Yann! Get out!"</p><p>The bedroom door closes and Lucas sighs.</p><p>"I'm not your mother but your best friend. What the fuck is wrong with you?"</p><p>Lucas sits on his bed, astonished to see that Yann is still in his bedroom, and that Arthur and Basile are also looking at him, visibly worried. Lucas sighs before going back to bed under his comforter.</p><p>"Go away!''</p><p>''You're going to lose your job, Lucas. You've got midterms in a month, you can't miss all the classes like that. It's been two weeks, now it's enough."</p><p>"We need to know what you have so we can help you." Said Arthur as he hit him in the leg. "Please, Lulu.''</p><p>Lucas sticks his head in his pillow and grunts at them to leave. Yann sits on the edge of the bed but says nothing more so Lucas thinks he wants to understand that he does not want to talk.</p><p>''Is it because of Eliott?'' asks Basile.</p><p>Lucas jumps out from under his comforter and rips his phone out of Baz's hands.</p><p>"Don't go through my phone!"</p><p>Yann takes the phone back in one go, threatening Lucas with his darkest look.</p><p>"Who is this guy?"</p><p>Lucas sighs, lowering his eyes.</p><p>"A guy on Grindr, nothing more."</p><p>Yann shakes his head and frowns.</p><p>''Stop lying to me, Lulu. You never give your real number to the guys you meet. Don't you think we've seen you've been happier in the last few months? We assumed you were seeing someone, but when you didn't mention it, we just wanted to give you some time and..."</p><p>''We weren't together.'' Moans Lucas trying to hold back his tears ''I met him in March and we used to see each other from time to time. A lot of times. But just for sex. It was agreed, it was just for sex. Except it got out of hand. We stayed longer and longer, we laughed, we talked, we watched movies, we went out sometimes. I had to end it all."</p><p>''Why?'' asks Arthur ''Why did you have to end it if it makes you sad?''</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, tears flowing all by themselves.</p><p>''I can't be in a relationship, it's just impossible.''</p><p>Yann puts his hands on Lucas' shoulders.</p><p>''Your illness shouldn't be an obstacle, and''</p><p>''He doesn't want anything serious either. He's gone. I will never see him again. It's all over now. Just leave me alone."</p><p>Lucas bursts into tears and Yann pulls him into his arms.</p><p>''Call him, Lulu.''</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, trying to dry his tears.</p><p>''Why? To offer him what? A life of shit where he'll spend his time worrying about me? To wonder if when we wake up the next morning I'll still be me or I'll be completely lost? To offer him a life where we'll never be able to make a project because I'll never know if I'll be okay in the coming months? A life where he'll worry about whether I'm taking my fucking meds because I can't function properly without them? Love is not possible for everyone.''</p><p>Lucas bursts into tears again and closes his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>6 months earlier</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Love is not possible for everyone, Lucas, that's all.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas watches Eliott's DVD collection and it makes him laugh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Your movies say otherwise, silly.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott hits him in his ass before he laughs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't call me silly."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas rolls his eyes before he turns to the wall full of drawings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Your raccoon looks sad. Why don't you draw another raccoon with him?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott shrugs his shoulders and brings his beer to his lips. A drop runs down his mouth and falls on his chest and Lucas watches it run down to Eliott's boxers, holding back from licking it. They are both in Eliott's living room, just dressed in their boxers and Lucas feels like it's the most natural thing in the world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Maybe no raccoon will ever be able to make him happy. Maybe he's just doomed to be alone. You know what I was saying: "Love is not possible for everyone.""</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas looks at the drawings and then turns to Eliott.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why doesn't he deserve to be in love?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott shrugs his shoulders and sighs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''He wears a mask. He's hiding a secret that no one knows and when he takes off his mask, everyone runs away."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas caresses the drawing where a cat holds a suitcase and nods.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Is that you? The raccoon?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott shrugs his shoulders before finishing his beer and Lucas turns to the drawings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Maybe he just had to meet another raccoon.'' says Lucas ''Maybe they'll both understand that they're hiding a secret and they won't have to take off their masks. Or that when they do, they'll understand each other."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott laughs and shakes his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''You're definitely not a raccoon, Lucas.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas frowns as he gets closer to Eliott.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Maybe I'm more than you think I am.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott shakes his head and runs his hand through Lucas' hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Oh no. I know exactly what you are."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas smiles and slides his hand down Eliott's boxer, no longer resisting the urge to touch him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''A lion? Because I make you roar? Or a bonobo? I can't explain to you why, but I can show you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott laughs and pushes Lucas to the couch before undressing him in an almost wild, really exciting way.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>''Lulu? Are you listening?"</p><p>Lucas frowns and moves back from Yann's arms as he dries his eyes.</p><p>"No. It's Ok, Yann, let go of me. I'm just not well."</p><p>Yann sighs and shakes his head.</p><p>''Plans change, Lulu, if you two love each other, you can make it work.''</p><p>Lucas sighs as he lies back in bed.</p><p>''You can't always do what you want.''</p><p>''Stop with your shitty answers!'' Basile gets angry. ''You know my mom is bipolar, and yet she's a great mom. You could have such a better life than the one you have if you would stop feeling sorry for yourself."</p><p>Lucas stands up to him and frowns.</p><p>''I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I don't want to share my burden!''</p><p>''And if he wants to, damn it! You don't have to choose for others.''</p><p>''He's right!'' Arthur says, ''If we'd listened to you, you would have given up our friendship the moment you were diagnosed.''</p><p>Lucas sits on his bed, crossing his arms over his chest, his face closed.</p><p>''Sometimes I think I should have done it. You guys are such a pain in the ass."</p><p>Basile and Arthur come and sit on either side of him, to wrap him in a hug that he doesn't want, but he lets them, because he knows from experience that he won't be able to escape it. These three guys are worse than mussels clinging to their rock. They hung on to Lucas when he didn't want their friendship anymore and they have proven more than once that they put up with any aspect of his illness with him. They are clearly the best friends he can have. Lucas knows this, he should be grateful, but right now he's just annoyed. He wishes he could go back to bed and think about all the things he could have lived with Eliott if he wasn't schizophrenic.</p><p>''We love you too, cranky Lulu.''</p><p>''Let him decide.'' Basile says softly, "He needs to know. Look at us, we don't care if you're sick. Okay, sometimes you freaked us out, but now that you have your new medication, you're okay, right?"</p><p>''I swear, even when you're sick, you deserve to have people around you, Lulu,'' says Arthur ''And you deserve to have a boyfriend. You don't deserve to be alone for the rest of your life. You have so much to offer."</p><p>''Yeah." says Basile smiling, "A fucking bad temper like yours, it'd be a shame not to share it."</p><p>Lucas looks up at Yann who smiles tenderly at him and shakes his head.</p><p>"He doesn't want anything serious. That was the agreement between us."</p><p>Yann sighs and puts his hand on Lucas' shoulder, pushing Arthur slightly to be able to do so.</p><p>''I'm sure he's as shitty as you are right now. Call him, Lulu.''</p><p>Arthur sighs and puts his hand on Lucas'.</p><p>''You know what my mother always says?<em> It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.</em>"</p><p>Basile slaps Lucas on the thigh, visibly eager to say something and Lucas looks at him and sighs.</p><p>''One day I heard: <em>Life will put stones in your path. It's up to you to decide whether you make a wall or a bridge out of them.</em> So knock down your wall and make a fucking bridge to it, Lucas!"</p><p>Lucas looks at Basile, stunned.</p><p>''Where did you hear that?''</p><p>"Coluche."</p><p>The four of them start laughing and Lucas closes his eyes. The only thing he can think of is that he's sad because he will never know how Eliott would have drawn him. His friends can say whatever they want and quote any stupid proverb, he can't impose that on Eliott.</p><p>If he could promise Eliott a happy future, he might try to convince him, but he can't promise that, so he has to stay away from Eliott to allow him to be happy with someone else someday. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Hesitation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Eliott, now you move your ass!"</p><p>"I have an episode!"</p><p>"I have an episode..." Idriss laughs in a high-pitched voice. "Liar! You never say that when it's the case. You think we do not know the difference? Damn, you've got some nerve anyway! Blaming an episode when it's not even that that puts you in such a state."</p><p>"Idriss, take it easy!" asks Sofiane.</p><p>''It's been more than two weeks, damn! Come on, Eliott, move your ass and tell us what you got!"</p><p>Eliott shakes his head and feels Sofiane's hand pulling his hair away from his forehead.</p><p>"Eliott, we're worried about you, and"</p><p>''So his name is Lucas, right? He's the hedgehog?"</p><p>Eliott straightens up at once, pushing Sofiane at the same time and rips his phone out of Idriss' hands.</p><p>''Don't touch my phone. But what kind of friend does that?"</p><p>''The kind that worries about you!'' said Idriss frowning ''Who's Lucas?''</p><p>Eliott lies down, holding his phone against him as if he wanted to keep it just for himself.</p><p>''Just a guy. Nothing to see."</p><p>The cover is torn off in one blow and Idriss appears really angry.</p><p>''Stop your fucking bullshit. His last message was 17 days ago and since you're severely depressed. Do you think we haven't seen you've been better lately? I knew you met someone."</p><p>Eliott sighs and turns to Sofiane.</p><p>''It's just a guy, we weren't together. It was just sex."</p><p>Sofiane nods, but gets up and shows several drawings on Eliott's desk. He knows them well, since he has drawn them all: they are all drawings of a happy raccoon and hedgehog in other parallel universes.</p><p>"You can try to convince yourself, but we all know that it wasn't just sex, Eliott. You're totally in love with him, aren't you?"</p><p>Eliott looks at Idriss who gives him big eyes, certainly hoping that it forces Eliott to talk, then he looks at Sofiane who smiles at him tenderly and nods.</p><p>"Yeah. I...I didn't realize it until he told me we couldn't see each other anymore because he was falling in love with me."</p><p>Sofiane immediately nods his head, putting the drawings back on the desk.</p><p>''If he's in love with you, what's the big deal?''</p><p>Eliott sighs and looks at his hands so he doesn't have to look at his friends.</p><p>''He doesn't want a serious relationship.''</p><p>Idriss picks up the phone from the mattress and hands it to Eliott.</p><p>''Call him, have a real date with him out and show him it's worth it. You're worth it, Eliott."</p><p>Eliott sighs and lies down shaking his head.</p><p>''Not in this universe.''</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Four months earlier.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''You see'' explains Lucas before taking the joint back to shoot ''I like that theory. Imagine you toss a coin for a heads or tails. The moment you toss it, the coin is just as likely to end up on heads as it is on tails. Both have the same luck. If in this universe it hits tails, imagine that in another universe it hits heads. Now imagine this for all the times you've had to make decisions. It gives you an incredible number of possibilities, and therefore an incredible number of universes. Maybe in another universe, we're here and the only difference is the color of your curtains, for example, but in a totally different universe, we met in high school, for example. Or maybe we were even childhood friends. Maybe you're my neighbor."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott opens his eyes before taking up the joint again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''I never imagined that. So you think in all the universes we know each other? Like, we're related?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas half chokes on his beer and pushes his hair back from his forehead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''I don't know, It was just an example.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''It's weird." Eliott says as he puts the joint in the ashtray, ''It freaks me out! Can you imagine if we live in the worst possible universe? If we live in the one where we make a lot of bad choices?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Exactly. It makes me feel good to think about that. I guess Lucas in other universes are better than me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott frowns as he looks at Lucas, sitting on the windowsill in front of him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Are you in trouble?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas shakes his head but sighs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''No, not really. Let's say that in this universe the odds are against me, and I hope that in the other universes it's not the case.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott nods his head, looking at Lucas and smiling tenderly, giving him space to talk if he wants to, but Lucas bursts out laughing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why are we so serious? I fucking broke the mood. Sorry. I'm going to go. But it was cool tonight, I really needed it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott looks out at the rain and shakes his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''No, stay, it's dark and it's raining. You can sleep here, you know. Want to watch a movie?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas hesitates and looks at Eliott.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't know, Eliott."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott shakes his head and settles down in the sofa.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Come on, we can watch a movie, like two friends, right? Are you gonna come home in the rain and find yourself home alone? Is that your plan?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas shrugs his shoulders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Maybe I'll go see an another guy, who knows.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott immediately frowns and then remembers that he has no right to force Lucas to be exclusive. They never talked about it, but since they've been seeing each other really regularly for the last three months, he really thought Lucas wasn't seeing other guys.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm kidding, Eliott," Lucas says as he sat down next to him, "I'm not seeing anyone, you're good enough for me. At least with you, there are no bad surprises."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott smiles and takes a sip of beer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''What's the worst bad surprise you've ever had?''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas hesitates then starts laughing before taking another beer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''I met a guy once. 20 years old in his profile picture, at least 50 in real life.''</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott only wants to ask Lucas if he has sex with him, but he doesn't know if he has the right to ask. The boundaries with Lucas are really blurred and Eliott gets lost in them sometimes. Often.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''I didn't have sex with him. He reminded me of my dad. Eww."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott smiles and hesitates, which makes Lucas smile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You wonder why I like tall guys?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott nods with a smile and Lucas shrugs his shoulders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't know, I like to see that I can wrap your whole body with mine."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott raises an eyebrow and Lucas coughs. At least pretend to cough before taking another sip of beer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You or someone else, it doesn't matter."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott looks at him out of the corner of his eye as he takes another sip of beer and for the first time he wonders if it matters that little to Lucas. If it really not matters, why doesn't he see anyone else?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Once I fucked a guy and his boyfriend surprised us. I think that was the time I've ever been scared. I had a busted arm, a split lip and a black eye for weeks."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott takes a sip of beer and sighs. Lucas doesn't see other guys anymore because he's sure that Eliott won't cause him any problems, that's all. He knows he's safe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Okay, let's watch your movie.'' Says Lucas as he grabs a blanket and puts it over the two of them, ''We're friends, you're right, we can be alone together."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Alone together, that's exactly what they were.</p><p>"Call him, Eliott!'' said Idriss, opening the curtains and then the window.</p><p>''No way! He doesn't want anything serious. You should have seen the disgusted look on his face when he said he was in love with me."</p><p>''Does he know you're bipolar?'' asks Sofiane.</p><p>''No, not even.'' Eliott grunts, "So imagine if he knew I was crazy?"</p><p>"You're not crazy!" Idriss gets angry. "You're just an idiot! Call him!"</p><p>Eliott shakes his head and lies back under his blanket.</p><p>"Did you see how it ended with Lucille?"</p><p>Idriss freezes immediately and sighs.</p><p>''Lucille wasn't the one. I don't know if Lucas is the right guy for you, but I know you'll never know if you don't try. I'm sure you act like a couple without even realizing it. It's the realization that scared you."</p><p>"At least tell him how you feel." Sofiane says softly. "Talk to him, Eliott. You've never been better than you're in the last few months. Maybe he didn't want a serious relationship because he suffered in the past but you can change his mind."</p><p>''Call him or I will!'' says Idriss.</p><p>The guys come out of his room and Eliott sighs as he hears his friends talking about him in the hallway. He closes his eyes and imagines a universe where he can say "I love you Lucas", without any "but" behind.</p><p>Eliott gets up and settles down at his desk to draw. This is the only thing that calms him down a little: drawing everything he would like to do or say to Lucas. He will never be able to give or show him his drawings, but he hopes that in one of those fucking parallel universes, there is an Eliott who draws for Lucas every day of his life. </p><p>An Eliott who tells him that he loves.</p><p>An Eliott who makes him happy.</p><p>If he could promise Lucas a happy future, he could try to convince him, but he can't promise it, so he has to stay away from Lucas so he can be happy with someone else someday.</p><p>But as he finishes his drawing, a tiny thought comes into his head: <em>what if he lived in the universe where he dares?</em></p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Confrontation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucas grabs his phone, giving the impression that he won't stop ringing and sits down to look at the dozens of drawings that are pouring in. Even if he hadn't seen the sender, he would have recognized Eliott's raccoon. Except that in his drawings, he's not alone, he's always accompanied by a hedgehog. He doesn't look sad as usual, there, on his drawings, he looks happy.</p><p>So Lucas scrolls through the drawings where the two animals are sleeping in a bed, watching a sunset, climbing a mountain, walking hand in hand...dozens of different drawings but where they both always look really happy.</p><p>The last drawing makes Lucas' heart miss a beat. The raccoon looks at the crying hedgehog, holding his paws in his paws and says ''I love you too, Lucas." Underneath it is noted: <em>Universe 1823: Lucas and Eliott dare to be in love.</em></p><p>Lucas rests his phone, shaking his head and then takes it back immediately.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Lucas</strong>
</p><p>I'm sorry, I can't.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Eliott</strong>
</p><p>If you love me, come to my house.</p><p>I need you.</p><p>I know you need me too.</p><p>Just hold me in your arms, please.</p><p>I need you to stop me from falling</p><p> </p><p>Lucas closes his eyes, tears streaming down both sides.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>2 months earlier</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas types the entrance code to Eliott's building and pushes the door, a big smile on his lips. He didn't seen him since two days and he's really happy that Eliott sent him a message, asking him to come tonight. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But when Eliott opens the door to his apartment, he's not at all like he usually is. He doesn't smile and looks totally exhausted. He has large purple circles under his eyes and seems to be freezing when it's 28°C outside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Eliott? Are you all right?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott shakes his head, his eyes filled with tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I feel like I'm falling."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He turns around without saying anything else and walks slowly towards his room. Lucas closes the door of the apartment before following him, feeling a heightened anxiety because Eliott is clearly not in his usual state.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he arrives in his bedroom, Eliott is lying under a mountain of blankets but seems to be shivering. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm falling, Lucas."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lucas shakes his head and lies down on Eliott's back, holding him firmly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>''I've got you, Eliott. You are not falling."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eliott huddles a little more in Lucas' hollow before he starts to cry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>''Don't let me fall, please.''</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lucas remembers how he spent the night holding him, wondering what Eliott drank or smoked to be in such a state. He didn't see Eliott for a week after that, this time. Eliott sent him a message thanking him, telling him he was getting better, but he didn't respond to any of his messages for a week and when he did it again, he pretended it never happened. So Lucas did the same thing and didn't ask any questions.</p><p>Lucas re-reads the messages he just received and gets out of bed. It hurts him all over his body because he hasn't been up for several days, but he needs to see Eliott. He puts his coat over his pajamas and puts on sneakers before walking to Eliott's house. It is noon when he arrives in front of the building. He unlocks the door, then goes straight upstairs and frowns when he notices that the door to Eliott's apartment is ajar.</p><p>He crosses the apartment to Eliott's room which is plunged in darkness.</p><p>''Idriss, I told you to leave, damn it!''</p><p>Lucas has never heard Eliott's voice be so hard and brittle, and it almost hurts to hear.</p><p>''It's me.''</p><p>Eliott immediately turns around, giving the impression that he's just seen a ghost. Eliott looks like shit : his eyes are hollowed out, his hair is greasy and badly combed, and his complexion is pale. But Lucas has no illusions, he must look as shitty as Eliott, if not more.</p><p>''What are you doing here?''</p><p>Lucas shrugs his shoulders as he takes off his coat and shoes.</p><p>''I've come to stop you from falling.''</p><p>Eliott starts to cry and Lucas slips under the quilt, crying in turn as he hugs him. In reality, he doesn't really know who is serving the other, but it doesn't matter. Their lips meet immediately, and the kiss tastes like salt, but it doesn't matter either. For a few minutes, Lucas doesn't want to think about everything that separates them, he just wants to be there for Eliott.</p><p>They stand against each other, tangled up in both their legs and arms before falling asleep from exhaustion.</p><p>When Lucas wakes up, it is completely dark. He panics slightly because he doesn't really remember how he got here and he moves so fast that he wakes up Eliott.</p><p>''Lucas? What are you doing here?''</p><p>Lucas sits down while Eliott turns on his bedside lamp.</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>Eliott frowns and Lucas lowers his head, trying to think as fast as possible in his foggy brain. It is at times like this that he regrets not having taken his treatment properly in the last few days, or rather weeks. And then suddenly it comes back to his mind.</p><p>''You asked me to come.''</p><p>Eliott shakes his head and frowns.</p><p>''I never asked you to come.''</p><p>Lucas takes his phone out of his pocket and shows the messages to Eliott, who opens his eyes wide.</p><p>''I'm sorry, it wasn't me. I hesitated, but I can't, Lucas, I don't want to hurt you. I love you but I don't think I can make you happy."</p><p>Lucas nods but for the first time, he takes Eliott's hand in his and looks him in the eye.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>Eliott sighs and becomes hesitant. </p><p>''It has nothing to do with you. I... I'm... I'm... I'm sorry... I..."</p><p>Lucas gently caresses his cheek without letting go of Eliott's gaze, really wanting to know what he's hiding.</p><p>''Why? Take off your mask, Eliott. Explain it to me."</p><p>Eliott frowns and looks at Lucas looking almost mean.</p><p>''And you, Lucas? Why? Bad breakup? Are you afraid of having another heartbreak? Are you afraid of holding on to someone who will abandon you? Are you''</p><p>''I am schizophrenic. I don't want to make anybody put up with this shit. I know what it's like to live with someone who has this disease and I can't ask someone to put up with it for me. No one should have to go through this, even for love. The truth is that I'm only okay when I take my medication and even then, there is no guarantee that I will always be okay. I have no possible future because I'm not sure if I'm going to be myself again next year, or even next day.''</p><p>Eliott opens his eyes wides, letting go of Lucas' hand and Lucas immediately gets out of bed, disappointed. He knows that most people are afraid of this kind of illness, but he never imagined Eliott would be afraid of him. He picks up his things and turns around just before going through the bedroom door.</p><p>He looks at Eliott who is visibly shocked and opens his mouth but no sound comes out. What could he say? <em>Sorry? I hope you'll be happy. Goodbye?</em> Nothing he says would be appropriate, so he closes his mouth and leaves. Lucas walks through the apartment, swearing to himself internally that he won't cry. At least Eliott will be able to turn the page of their story without regrets now.</p><p>Eliott grabs his arm in the middle of the hallway and pulls Lucas towards him.</p><p>''I'm sorry, Lucas. I just can't do it. You need someone steady to stand by you when you need it, and I could never be like that."</p><p>Eliott looks at Lucas, hesitantly, and leans in for a tender kiss. Lucas doesn't even push him away. He lets him and kisses him back with the same sweetness, knowing it will be their last kiss.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Lucas."</p><p>Lucas reluctantly detaches himself and leaves the building without looking back. He would have been better off not saying anything. He would have been better off continuing to see Eliott as he did before. He would have suffered when Eliott stopped, finding someone better for him, for sure, but he wouldn't feel broken now.</p><p>Lucas runs up the street, bumping into the few passers-by walking by, trying to catch his breath, but all he does is sob. He takes his phone out of his pocket , his hand shaking, and it falls into a puddle. Lucas raises his head and the rain hitting him hard. It's only there that he realizes that his clothes are soaked, but he doesn't know how long it's been raining. Was it already raining when he left the building? Maybe.</p><p>His phone only shows him a black screen, so Lucas puts it in his pocket. He must find Yann. He hasn't taken his medication for too long and he's definitely feeling the effects, probably amplified by stress and sadness.</p><p>He takes a light breath before walking again and that's when he hears it. Doctors call it auditory hallucinations. Lucas calls it living in hell. And at that very moment, he knows that even though he hears Eliott's voice, if he turns around, he won't be there. It's just in his fucking head.</p><p>''Lucas!''</p><p>Lucas stops but doesn't turn around. He doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want to realize that he's alone on this street with his madness as his only company. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't hate me...I have a penchant for drama at the beginning of the year....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Decision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let's just go back a little bit...to the moment of their last kiss....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucas kisses him gently, but this kiss has a bitter taste of goodbye.</p>
<p>Eliott wants to tell him that he doesn't care that he's schizophrenic, that he really understands what it's like to have to take medication to function properly and that he doesn't care, but he's blocked by the idea that Lucas needs someone reliable. A rock. Someone who will always be there to support him, someone who can take care of him. And that's not Eliott. He's already struggling to take care of himself, he can't take care of Lucas.</p>
<p>So he says three words that make him want to vomit:</p>
<p>''I'm sorry, Lucas.''</p>
<p>Eliott doesn't want to say that. He doesn't want those to be the last words he says to him. He wants to ask him if they can't forget about everything and get back to the relationship they had. Lucas backs off and the next second,  he's gone. </p>
<p>It's over.</p>
<p>''Are you just gonna let him go? Are you fucking kidding me?"</p>
<p>Eliott looks at Idriss who comes out of the living room and sighs.</p>
<p>"What are you doing here?"</p>
<p>"I'm stopping you from doing the worst shit of your life, Eliott! But what are you doing here?"</p>
<p>Eliott pushes Idriss away by frowning.</p>
<p>''We have no future together. What if I drag him down?"</p>
<p>''But he can't live without you, damn it!'' says a guy next to Idriss. ''He needs you to be well.''</p>
<p>Eliott frowns and moves closer to the two of them.</p>
<p>''Who are you?"</p>
<p>The guy smiles as he reaches out his hand.</p>
<p>''Yann, Lucas' best friend., nice to meet you. Now run after him, damn it! Run before you regret it for the rest of your life."</p>
<p>Eliott shakes his head and looks at them.</p>
<p>''How do you know each other?''</p>
<p>Idriss takes a big fucking smile and taps Yann's shoulder.</p>
<p>"I wanted to call Lucas to tell him how bad you were, but Yann picked up the phone."</p>
<p>"I took Lucas' cell phone to tell you he needed you." Explain Yann.</p>
<p>''So we decided to bring Lucas here. I sent him your drawings." Pursues Idriss. ''And I told him what you didn't dare to tell him: that you need him to be fine.''</p>
<p>''And now'' says Yann ''you're going to stop with your bullshit <em>''we're not allowed to be together, we'll only make things worse, we're too sick to be happy'</em>', It's bullshit, damn it! I've never seen Lucas as happy as he has been in the last few months, and never so bad he has been in the last two weeks. And if it wasn't difficult? If you just need each other to get better?"</p>
<p>Eliott looks at them and the next moment he runs down the stairs of the building and then down the street. Most of the people he meets look at him, probably because he's wearing only jogging pants. Literally. He runs shirtless and barefoot in the rain but Eliott doesn't care. He runs as fast as he can, and it's when he turns on the avenue that he sees him. </p>
<p>Head down, shoulders down. Even from behind, Eliott can see that he's sad. Broken.</p>
<p>''Lucas!''</p>
<p>Lucas stops suddenly but doesn't turn around.</p>
<p>"Lucas!"</p>
<p>Lucas gives the impression that he's going to break and fall on the ground then Eliott runs the fastest towards him.</p>
<p>"Lucas, I need you!"</p>
<p>Lucas turns around and even if it rains, Eliott knows that the drops on his cheeks are not due to the rain. He literally bursts into tears as Eliott puts his hands on his cheeks, wiping his tears with his thumbs.</p>
<p>Suddenly it's just the two of them. No one else exists anymore. Even the rain doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is who must not let Lucas go.</p>
<p>''I love you, Lucas, and I need you to be okay. I don't care about your illness. I'm bipolar. I can't function properly without my meds either and I don't know how I'll be tomorrow, but I know I want to be with you. Tomorrow, and every other day after that."</p>
<p>Lucas opens his mouth but Eliott puts his index finger to stop him from saying it's not possible.</p>
<p>''I know it's going to be hard, but I want to make it work. I want to be okay for you. I want to make you smile and make you happy. I know it won't always be the case, but I really want to try. I have never been happier than when we are together. I need you, Lucas."</p>
<p>Lucas pushes Eliott's hand from his mouth and Eliott puts his forehead against his.</p>
<p>''I love you, Lucas. Even without your mask."</p>
<p>Lucas smiles while caressing the cheek of Eliott.</p>
<p>''I thought I was a hedgehog.''</p>
<p>Eliott laughs andLucas pulls his neck so he can kiss him. They have kissed at least hundreds of times, but this kiss is different from the others. This kiss is synonymous with hope.<br/></p>
<p>''I love you, Eliott. Even without your mask."</p>
<p>Eliott kisses him, scared to death. He's afraid he's going to ruin everything, or hurt Lucas, or drag him down. But he smiles as he hugs Lucas because he knows he made the right choice. </p>
<p>Maybe as long as he has Lucas next to him and they're there for each other, everything will be okay.<br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finally! </p><p>But it's too little, isn't it? So see you tomorrow for a chapter dedicated to love...it's my favorite chapter of this fic, I hope you'll like it! </p><p>In the meantime, I hope this chapter has made you smile!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Conclusion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>''I think I can easily take all the credit for this relationship.'' Declares Idriss as he raises his glass.</p><p>''Nonsense!'' says Yann as he gets up, giving him an elbow. ''It was my idea to force them to see each other again!"</p><p>"Who called the other one first?'' asks Idriss.</p><p>"I was going to do it!" Yann declares, "I had the phone in my hands! Who told Eliott to run after Lucas?"</p><p>Eliott and Lucas look at each other and roll their eyes at the same time, far too used to this kind of dispute between Idriss and Yann.</p><p>"Oh shut up you two!" Imane interrupts them "You have no merit! They managed to make their couple work beyond their own hopes and they owe it only to the two of them."</p><p>Lucas smiles and sends a wink to Imane while the two guys sit sulking. </p><p>If he could turn back the clock, he would tell Lucas that he was 19 not to be afraid and to have faith in love. Eliott was absolutely right: they need each other to get better. For the past six years they have both been doing really well. They are following their treatment as they should and no longer abuse alcohol or weed. They have finished their studies, they have each found a job they like and they live in a really nice apartment. Of course, it's not always easy, but it's definitely not as complicated as Lucas had imagined. They just need to be there for each other. Lucas honestly never thought he could be so happy, and when he thinks back on how he had put all that behind him, and what his life would have been like if Eliott hadn't convinced him that they could make it work, he just wants to cry so much he's so happy.</p><p>''Oh babe, don't cry.''</p><p>Eliott gently strokes his cheek with his thumb and Lucas giggles, not even realizing he's crying.</p><p>"I'm so happy."</p><p>Eliott kisses him tenderly before gently hugging him.</p><p>''I think every good groom should cry at his wedding.'' Says Lucas' mother with a smile.</p><p>''It's just the sixth time he's cried.'' Arthur points out, handing him a handkerchief.</p><p>''And that's not counting the times he cried during the preparations.'' Adds Basile ''Or when he saw Eliott in his suit this morning. I think that was the worst of it."</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes and huddles up in his husband's arms. He looks at their intertwined hands and the shining rings on their fingers and starts crying again.</p><p>''I'm going to start to think you regret being my husband when it's only been a few hours."</p><p>Lucas chuckles and wipe his eyes.</p><p>''Never. I have the best husband in the world."</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, rubbing their noses together.</p><p>"Nonsense, because it's me!"</p><p>Lucas hears their friends laughing at them, but he doesn't care. Nothing can spoil his happiness.</p><p>''Okay, come here, groom and groom, we have a game for you.''</p><p>Correction: those silly friends might be able to spoil his happiness. And his idiot husband gets up with a big smile and comes to the center of the room, as if he had no idea that their friends were planning to embarrass them.</p><p>''Come on Lulu, nothing mean, I promise.'' Declares Basile ''Each of you has a sign with Eliott on one side, Lucas on the other. You just have to answer our questions and normally you're supposed to have the same answer."</p><p>Lucas joins his husband in the center of the room and sit on a chair, next to him, smiling when he thinks of Eliott saying "his husband" in his head. Is he really going to get used to it one day? Probably...but for now, he feels like he's living in a dream.</p><p>''We start easy!'' says Idriss ''Who said<em> I love you</em> first?''</p><p>Lucas shows his first name and hits Eliott's arm when he sees that he has put his own.</p><p>''Hey! Are you kidding? It was me!"</p><p>Eliott shakes his head and smiles.</p><p>"You said you figured that out because of the way I kissed your shoulder. It was clearly my way of saying I love you."</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes as he sighs.</p><p>''Nonsense, you weren't even aware of it.''</p><p>Eliott shrugs his shoulders and smiles so much that Lucas can't answer anything. If Eliott wants to believe that he's the first to confess his feelings, even unconsciously, why not? Eliott takes a satisfied face and Lucas decides that in fact no, he won't win so easily. So he moves closer to his ear so he can whisper what he will never say out loud, especially not in front of his grandmother who looks at them smiling.</p><p>'I asked you to be at the top. I've never done it with anyone else."</p><p>Eliott drops the sign and looks at Lucas with wide eyes. They haven't talked about it since, taking full advantage of being able to make love in all possible positions, and it's true that Lucas told him he'd done it before, but it was just a fucking lie. The truth is that he had never done it but he really wanted to do it with Eliott.</p><p>''You're bluffing, babe.''</p><p>Lucas shakes his head and takes a huge smile.</p><p>''It was clearly my way of saying I love you. I should have realized at that moment that I was in love with you."</p><p>Eliott picks up his sign nodding and shows the name Lucas who takes a big winning smile. But it's nothing compared to Eliott's smile. He has a huge smile full of pride and Lucas knows he won't lose it for the rest of the evening.</p><p>''If you take so much time for each question, we're not finished. Okay, who's the most romantic?''</p><p>This time, they both agree that it's Eliott. Lucas will never forget the first time Eliott came to pick him up at the café with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Just like that, for no reason. That's what Lucas likes best about Eliott: he does things like that, without any reason, just because he's in love. He doesn't wait for a birthday or a special day to tell Lucas how much he loves him and it always makes Lucas feel incredibly lucky.</p><p>''Who's the first one to lie to the other one?''</p><p>Lucas hesitates but doesn't have the time to choose when Eliott says it's him.</p><p>''Lucas, without hesitation.''</p><p>Lucas frowns as he looks at him and Eliott bends over to kiss him.</p><p>''Rioppy21? Are we talking about the 21?''</p><p>Lucas bursts out laughing, not caring the least that all their friends and family are watching them. He can't help but think back to that time when Eliott pulled a tape measure from his bedside table, telling Lucas that he was lying.</p><p>"19,8 is not 21, liar."</p><p>Lucas puts his hand over his mouth to shut him up, even though Eliott whispers so low that no one can hear them.</p><p>''You lied, too!''</p><p>Eliott shrugs his shoulders and smiles.</p><p>"Maybe. I really wanted you to come and check it out. But you started it. So you lied first."</p><p>They both start laughing before kissing and then refuse to explain why they are laughing. </p><p>They agree that Lucas is the crankiest, but also the one who apologizes the most easily, and the one who says "I love you" the most often. And that's true. He's so lucky to be able to love Eliott that he can't resist saying it every day. So even when he's angry with him, even when they're fighting, he always ends up saying, "I love you anyway, you know.", because he needs Eliott to know that he loves him, even when it's hard.</p><p>They agree that Eliott is the one who does the dishes the most, who chooses the TV program and who is the most cuddly. Eliott is like a gigantic teddy bear, always looking for a comforting hug and Lucas is more than happy to be there to give it to him, and wrap Eliott's whole body with his.</p><p>They decide not to choose who is the most eager for kisses because clearly on this point they are same.</p><p>"They spend their time licking each other's faces." declares Arthur, laughing.</p><p>''They are right." Says Eliott's grandfather before kissing his grandmother, provoking laughter and applause. ""A kiss is a treat that doesn't make you fat, so treat yourself."</p><p>But when what was supposed to be the easiest question comes up, Eliott and Lucas disagree completely.</p><p>''I'm the one who said <em>Will you marry me?</em> '' Lucas recalls.</p><p>Eliott shakes his head and shows his sign with his first name.</p><p>''I'm the one who planned to propose that night. You beat me to it by a few seconds. I had the ring in my pocket."</p><p>Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.</p><p>''I didn't need a ring to know I wanted to spend my life with you.''</p><p>''Anyway'' said Idriss laughing ''This wedding would never have happened without me, and'' </p><p>"Hey, the credit goes to me too," moans Yann as he takes the microphone from him.</p><p>Eliott and Lucas look at each other and burst out laughing before kissing.</p><p>''You want a baby with me?'' whispers Lucas.</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes and hits him on the upper arm.</p><p>''I was about to ask! Stop getting ahead of me!''</p><p>Lucas bursts out laughing and gets up to sit on his husband's lap.</p><p>''Do you want to? Really? Do you think we can do it?"</p><p>Eliott takes his hand in his own and nods.</p><p>''As long as your hand is in mine, we can handle anything.''</p><p>Eliott leans slightly and shows Idriss and Yann in the middle of a discussion.</p><p>"Except choosing who will be the godfather. I'm terrified of it in advance."</p><p>Lucas bursts out laughing before kissing Eliott. If there is one thing that has changed in the last 6 years, it is that he's no longer afraid.</p><p>No longer afraid of anything.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tell me what you think, I love to read your comments!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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